btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize