No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
