apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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