When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
