Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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