Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
