The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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