VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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