Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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(314): View more from Missouri

There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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(912): View more from Georgia

Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

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(703): View more from Virginia

To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.

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(801): View more from Utah

Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.

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