Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My life is pants optional.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
