he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
