Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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