Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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