After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
