roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
