She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize