butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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