How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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