he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
