I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
