My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
