What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
