Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize