I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was so not down for the gang bang
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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