Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
