thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
