Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
