Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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