I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
