it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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