not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
