I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
