I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize