nut hugger
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
