I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
