Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
