Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
