when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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