i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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