idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
