One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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