Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
