3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
