Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
