That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
