Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
