I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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