Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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