O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
