3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
