So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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