I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
