OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ladies don't puke and tell
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
