thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
