sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
