remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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