I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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