Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
