I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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